Preston Wilson is a man of the people. Although he is a major league baseball player, he doesn't rub it in your face. He doesn't make the average person feel like a big piece of crap like that big jerk Albert Pujols. I mean, can the average person on the street hit the ball 500 feet? Hell-no. Can the average person sitting in their cubicle make a diving catch on the first base line? (These are rhetorical questions.) Therefore, everytime Pujols does something great he makes me feel inadequate. However, when I am able to sit on my couch and watch Preston Wilson purposefully swing and miss on a slider, I feel much better about myself. When Preston pulls little league bullshit by not charging a ball hit to rightfield and letting the runner go from first to third, it makes say "Hey, my mom could do that. That's great! My mom could play rightfield for the Cards!" What other player in the majors purposefully tanks so that we feel better about ourselves?
I mean, Preston must be taking notes from the previous advocate for the common man, Neffi Perez. What other reason could there be for a 10+ year veteran to look so bad on so many pitches? During the game last night, I predicted a slider and swing and miss on three different occasions. THREE! C'mon Preston, you slay me! I'm proud of you for being able to say, "hey, I know they are going to throw me a slider, I mean I have been missing them on purpose for 12 years now" and you still swing and miss. You sir, are a genius.
2 comments:
As an Astros fan, I know exactly how you feel. We had the good fortune of having Preston make us feel better about ourselves for the first part of last season. He made me feel like I had ESP, as I was able to accurately predict the outcome of almost 100% of his at-bats.
What does Preston Wilson have that almost all of the players on both the Astros and Mets don't have?
Answer: A World Series Ring you Fucking Idiots...Your blog sucks
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