Monday, April 2, 2007

David Wright has a huge penis.






This weekly post will feature a player I would switch lives with. I will outline the reasons why my life is terrible and why theirs are awesome. This week its David Wright.




David signed a 6 year $55 million dollar deal last year. I worked all weekend with the hope that my bonus will be $100 bigger.




I have no chance of having sex with Marissa Miller. David does. By the way, this picture of Marissa Miller is officially the best photo ever taken.



David Wright doesn't want to blast himself everyday he goes to work.



David Wright is 24, handsome, and every woman in New York wants to have his babies. I am 23, fat, ugly and don't have the confidence to talk to any attractive women.



David hit .311 last season. I masturbated 311 times during last season.
Thats all I got for this week. This wasn't that funny, I will try to do better next time. At least I included a picture of Marissa Miller for you to look at.
Next week: Joe Mauer

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